Argh the post got deleted.
Had a bad night last night. Wish someone would just shoot me. I don’t want to be in class, just want to go home and cry. It was like world war 3 in my head last night and in order to stop it I ended up ruining 18 days of good behaviour.
Also managed to give myself a real scare, almost needed stitches which led to visiting the nice nurse at my GPs to give me the all clear. Although it did stop me from doing something more stupid and more dangerous, which I guess was the one and only benefit.
I am such a stupid fuck-up don’t know why anyone wastes their time trying to help me.
Got a very good response from a friend today “That’s fucking stupid you need to stop”….well duh. I know that and I’m really trying but sometimes it’s really hard.
How do you explain something you don’t understand to someone who understands any less.
I am just a waste of space. I don’t deserve their help or their kindness.
I think I’ll go cry now before my next class.
