Just so I can whinge.

Oh my gosh I have hardly left my bed this weekend, and when I have it’s been to sit at this desk, 3 feet maximum away from the bed, to use the bathroom or to make coffee/smoke.  I am such a lazy fuck sometimes.  Yesterday I got up at 3pm was dressed by 5pm, was back in bed sometime shortly after, fell asleep at 10pm woke up at 6am then went back to sleep until 1pm.  The thing is I don’t feel at all guilty.  I have a confession to make….due to all the sleeping I fucked up with my meds yesterday and forgot to take some….oops…it was only 1/3rd I forgot to take so I guess it could have been worse….need to remember tonight, I didn’t take this mornings until 1.30pm so scheduling is a bit fucked.

Anyway that is all totally unrelated to what this post was supposed to be about.  I just wanted to whinge about online personality tests, you know the ones where they ask you lots of stupid questions and they never ever come out with “of course you don’t have a disorder”, because that would undo their purpose.  They just have a nack of making you feel like shit.  My friend put one up on his blog, and was concerned at the amount of borderline traits that he was showing, so I did the same test just out of curiosity, I had done it years ago and was not impressed with the results, again I was a little more shocked than I expected to be…they showed:

Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: Moderate
Schizoid: Low
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: Low
Narcissistic: Low
Avoidant: High
Dependent: Moderate
Obsessive-Compulsive: Moderate

Haha, I know I dont score as highly as it said ona lot of them, and my borderline diagnosis got scrapped so I think it talks shit.  I guess these things cannot be trusted and I firmly believe they should not be trusted.

I remember being on placement and my supervisor asked me to do a couple of tests, a personality one and one to show what type of learner I was.  OK fine, I was a little worried about doing them because I knew they would show me as being a little fucked-up in the personality department and I didn’t really want the person who was going to be grading me to know how my mind worked. It was the whole you are an introverted, sensing, judging etc sort of one and went on to describe how you react to situations and why you maybe act the way you do.  Anyways after much persuasion I did it, I was assured it would just be for me to know my learning type etc and that it would not be looked at and we could discuss whatever I felt was worth discussing to help me learn….Fine I thought….I had to do it on her computer as I didn’t have a password to use a computer of my own…..As soon as I left the office that night she went into the history found my results, printed them and read them…  I felt cheated.  I wonder if it rated me as too trusting???

The thing is they were surprisingly accurate and I felt she had no right to be reading them, like a part of me had just been taken away.  I trusted her not to look.  I am too niave and trusting sometimes.  What a fool. I knos I am a fuck up, bottom line I dont need some stupid quiz someone made up to tell me I’m a mess.  I know all that already.  I especially don’t need one that tells me I am a lot more fucked up than I originally thought.

Haha I just found another one entitled “what mental disorder do you have……stunned….for once one of these things came up with my actual diagnosis first time….lets just sack all the psychiatrists, the internet obviously knows best. 

What mental disorder do you have? Your Result: Manic Depressive You have extreme cycles of highs and lows. Sometimes you feel like you don’t know who you are. One week you could be very hyper and happy and the next week you are slow and depressed.
GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)
Paranoia
ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)
OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

 Scary.  The no wonder rates of hypocondria and self-diagnosis are shooting up. 

Although their description of what bipolar is is not all that accurate…it’s a lot more than that.

Although I maintain I am NOT paranoid. or at all obsessive!

On yet another tangent yesterday, WTF happened to my blog stats yesterday?!  It looked like someone had mass mailed my blog address around the country….well not quite.  I have been hovering about 10 views a day, which I thought was impressive as well, who’d want to read my ramblings?  Yesterday it literally exploded up to like 51 views…..wow…I am suitably impressed….the world must have been an extremely boring place for some that they actually wanted to read the gumph I write!

That is all.