I was supposed to be going out with my flatmate tonight, we arranged it yesterday. He hasn’t come back to the flat. Probably stayed at home with his Mummy. Stupid Fuck. I am so pissed off right now. Stuck in the flat going nuts on my own. Have read a whole book. My feet and hands are icy cold…stupid fucking crappy reynaulds circulation. I have noone to talk to and it’s driving me mad. Want to scream and fucking hit someone about now. I will not take it out on myself….I hope, but the razor blades are handy and I’m so fucking angry it has to be directed somewhere. Probably best he doesn’t come back now as I probably will tear into him, verbally. I am not an aggressive person, I would never hurt another person deliberately. But god knows I can cut people with my words and I fucking will given half the chance right this minute.
Eating peanut butter out the tub is working just now and probably will for about the next 2 minutes….then who knows. I would punch the walls but then I’ll lose my deposit…actually probably not as I don’t think I paid one.
Stupid stupid fuck…why did he have to abandon me. Fair enough he doesn’t want to come out. He could have fucking let me know, you know a simple text would have done it….Yet hbe can still go out with his mates tomorrow night. Grrrrr.
Going for a bath. Don’t think it’ll help but I might as well try. Why are people so fucking annoying. Noone wants to be around me. They hate me and I hate them a thousand fold more. They should just keep the fuck away. Hate them. They can all just fuck off and die somewhere for all I care.
