Trick or Treat
Posted by fadingstar86 on 9 May, 2008
I just watched Derren Browns “trick or treat” on tv and was actually surprised that I learned something from it.
It was all about the power of negative persuation, about how children are more succeptable to it but adults are affected to whereby if someone says “Don’t push the button” you will unconsciously think about it so much that the pressure will be so much that you will inevitably press the button.
I am trying to stop self harming and the harder I try the more I seem to mess up and always worse than before. Perhaps by telling myself I must not cut myself it is adding subconscious pressure that builds up more and more as I try harder. Therefore leading in the end to me ending up cutting. Hmm, something to think about. Now I need to think about how I will change it.
“I must not cut myself” is not a good thought to be having, regardless of how good it may seem, so what is the alternative?
I can cut if I need to – nope probably still not helpful.
I don’t need to cut – probably still not helpful
any suggestions?
perhaps stopping thinking about it altogether is best, but that’s too difficult because the more I tell myself not to think about it the more I do.
hmmm. What to do.
unfitting said
i don’t think just telling yourself that you won’t cut or can’t cut or whichever way is going to necessarily make it stop (maybe for the very few?). it’s more of a matter of getting to the emotions and issues behind the cutting. once you fix those things, you can ultimately make the real change to stop but even this is a lifelong process. look at me, giving advice as if i know what i’m talking about! anyway, cutting is a b**** aint it?!
fadingstar86 said
I know just telling myself isn’t likely to work on its own. If only it were that simple. I am making steps slowly to change the other emotional stuff at the same time but I figure a change in attitude can’t hurt. I know I am never gonna undo 8 years of coping strategy just by telling myself I don’t need to but at the end of the day anything that may help has to be worth a try.
spaceagesage said
Yes, trying stop a behavior by naming the behavior is counterproductive. Repeating “I won’t eat dessert for a week so I can lose some fat” means I will be thinking about dessert and fat every time I say it. So I have to ask myself, what do I really want? I want honor my body to feel good … about me, food, and my energy levels. So instead, I might say, “My body and mind and heart feel better when I eat more sensibly and in smaller portions, so I am going to snack on veggies and use fruits for dessert for a week.” In the meantime, I might work on the “neediness hole” that the dessert was filling and try to release that from my inner landscape. Perhaps I eat dessert so much because it was a reward when I was little, and when I feel low, I try to make myself feel better with “reward food.”
Roots of our coping mechanisms are often places of pain and vulnerability, so doing inner work there is tough, but a first step is to say, “I want to feel good, so what are some positive steps I can take?” By taking one step at a time, you can travel great distances.