Inner evil
Posted by fadingstar86 on 10 January, 2009
It has always been there, an inner evil. Chipping away at me. It has awoken and has brought a pickaxe. Slowly breaking me, telling me to destroy myself. To cut and overdose. It is seeping from my pores into everyone around me. Destroying everything. I can’t tell anyone as they will think I am mad.
I am an evil being, I try to cover it up and usually succeed. It is there though. It wants to destroy me and everything I touch. It is the reason everyone around me is suffering. It is probably (definately) travelling down my modem as I type this. It is seeping quietly out and by reading this post part of it is probably touching you. Everything will slowly turn to shit.
It is incessant and nearly invisible, like little radioactive particles. It is alive and huge within me. It is not the devil but pretty close. Probably more evil, it will kill me, maybe not now but eventually, after it has finished with me and spat me out. I am sorry.
perfectdefect said
You’re not evil. You might not like to hear this hun, but please go and get some help. Thinking of you always xxx
bluebluestar said
Hunni! Reach out to me PLEASE! I feel so helpless when I know this stuff is in your head and you won’t let me in. I don’t want to be sitting on the other side of an A&E bed to what I was on Monday but then again I don’t want anything to happen and for you to not tell me. I love you from the bottom of my heart and I MEAN it!
You’re not evil you just need someone to listen and someone to help. Please get some help…there will be someone out there somewhere who can help – the professionals are not all arrogant aresholes so far up their own backsides they can’t see anything but theie intestine
Love you to the moon and back
xxxx
fadingstar86 said
There is noone to ask. Even if there was there is no way they could help. I am beyond help, I can’t let them in to what I don’t understand.
ronda said
You are not alone. The devil has suceeded in destroying or corrupting everything I had I am in utter pain and silent resign as there is nothing I can do about it all. He can do to me as he wishes here but he will never attain my soul as it is not mine to give. I have done or tried to do horrible things and he as a garment that is moth eaten, devours. like you I am sorry, but it is sorrow in vain to all those I have hurt for there is no forgiveness with men.