An Introduction of Sorts.
Hi there.
Thanks for taking the time to visit my blog. I can’t guarantee it will be interesting. In fact it probably won’t be.
My name is Karen. I am a 22 year old female. I live in the UK, a cold part, if there is a particularly cold bit, this is it. I am currently repeating my final year of university studying to be a health professional, my ultimate goal is to become a doctor but as time passes this looks increasingly unlikely. Given my level of intelligence it is probably an impossibility but who says you can’t dream?
Most people seem to have interesting and intelligent points to make in their blogs, and if that is what you are looking for then this probably isn’t the blog for you.
WARNING This blog contains a large amount of self-centredness. Just as a packet of peanuts MAY contain nuts.
I have been in and out of the mental health system quite a bit in the last few years having avoided it for several before that.
I have a diagnosis in progress- I am “possibly bipolar” .
This is an “upgrade” from previous diagnoses which run as; anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder with recurrent depressive episodes.
They eventually gave a name to my emotional f*cked up nature.
This blog is basically just my ramblings. Feel free to comment at any point, even if it is to tell me that I am whinging or need a good slap and told to grow up. This usually seems to be the case.
Currently I am just getting by, trying to figure out what, if anything, is wrong with me and more importantly how I can make things better. Thankfully I have great support from my GP, my support worker, psychologist and my psychiatrist.
The Goal:
Quit self harming
Be happier
Get my degree
Live life as fully as possible.
Survive.
spaceagesage said
The Light
The darkness called;
I followed, falling,
down into the underneath,
and lie ripped, shredded, torn.
In pain wracked, I reeked,
oozing bile-filled blood.
The darkness played music,
of fear and self-hatred,
until I danced ugly to the tune.
I heard my voice screaming,
“Give me one, not-dark thing!”
And there it was.
A pen-thin beam of sunlight,
stabbing the darkness.
Its smallness did not matter,
because its strength was in its source.
I followed the beam, eyes only for it,
until the darkness fell behind,
Soon came the sun, healing and warm.
I sat down and cried, releasing it all.
by SpaceAgeSage
(written 2-29-08 in response to many posts I’ve read here at WordPress.com — we are not all lost islands.)
“If you can’t find the light, may it find you.”
http://spaceagesage.wordpress.com/
Ashley said
HI… so I’m Ashley… a 21 year old whose story is quiet similar to yours… I have been in and out of the hospital only twice now… thankfully… I’ve gotten the different diagnoises… most recently a “possible bipolar” diagnosis… I like your goals… they’re good ones…
Ashley said
You inspired me to write them…
Having things to aim for gives me a reason to keep going you know… otherwise I woulda been gone a long time ago… We can become blog friends if you want… You’re a good writer… and real… I usually don’t write when I’m feeling sad but maybe I should… happy blogging 
Ashley
colouredmind said
Hi, a very interesting introduction. I was told I had a “mood dissprder, probably bipolar” like you until that changes about five months ago to definatly bipolar.
Lola Snow said
Hey there,
anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder with recurrent depressive episodes.
Yep, got it, got it, and got it again. I think they must be a bit like special Collect All 45 cards. I’ve had them all thrown at me at one point or another. Now I just laugh, I think they’re going to end up inventing a personality disorder especially for me. I’m voting for “Snow Syndrome” I think it has a classy ring to it!
Thanks for the add, I’ll return the favour. Am very much looking forward to lots of self-centred rambling, keep up the good work. Not everyone gets to be mental y’know
Lola x
fadingstar86 said
Made me smile. Yeah Snow Syndrome sounds ace, sounds a lot nicer than most, although may be confused with the compulsive act of throwing snowballs and making snow angels
. Collecting all 45…only if they have shinys! Its the mental equivalent of collecting the gruesome photos on the back of cigerette packets which is almost my new hobby! Or maybe that is just mental in itself.
Lola Snow said
I never thought of collecting those disturbing pictures, but I need a new hobby….